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David Blaine attempts to magic food into cubical shock
Unidentified Flying Steaks over London
Steaks over London's skyline

David Blaine, the latest in a long line of Americans who regularly visit the UK and then refuse to eat anything, has been caught trying to magic food into his suspended plastic cubical, we can reveal exclusively.

"Send me steaks - send them now"

Our investigation, by an undercover psychic, a rare medium* who specializes in dead meat, and a small child who has read all five Harry Potter books, confirm that David Blaine has attempted to magic food from at least three restaurants in London, in the last week.

The magician is living in a plastic cubical, without food, for 44 days, drinking only water and smelling only old eggs thrown at him by Londoners, and dodging golf balls launched at him by David Copperfield fans.

On Friday 12th September, observers told us that they saw Blaine touch his temples with his fingers as if to try to 'magic food to him'.

The same day a strange thing happened at Giottos Greek Gyros, Tottenham Court Road. Owner Alex Lambros takes up the story:

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"I was cutting a Gyro and all of a sudden the meat jumped out of my hand and flew through the window toward where Blaine is staying. I only had him in here two weeks ago - I thought nothing of it when he blessed my meat."

Blaine has told fans that starvation makes him imagine every meal he has ever had - his body is slowly decomposing due to lack of nourishment, a little like in the movie Evil Dead but with a PG certificate.

If this attempt to break his fasting is true, the magician looks set to lose at least some of the millions of dollars sponsorship given to him by a big network.

A spokesman from the big network, told us: "We are paying to see him starve himself to death, if he has managed to magic food into his cubical it would be like Evil Kneival jumping 20 buses without the buses - where's the spectacle in that?"

This event is believed to be the start of a trend for slow motion and yet death defying stunts. The next scheduled slow motion event is by a slow-crawler who tells us he intends to crawl slowly for a mile to the edge of a tall cliff before falling over it.

* (not medium rare)

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