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Must
See TV
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Following
the success of Queer Eye for the
Straight Guy, networks around the world are busy
copying and modifying the format in time for their fall schedules.
We
have managed to track down just a small fraction of the spin-off
series. (Check local listings for details.)
Straight
Eye for the Queer Guy
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Politically
indeterminate
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A
gay guy gets a straight makeover. Gay men, fed up with
the bright colors and too-much-sex of gaytownville, seek counseling
from men who only wear checked shirts and have hairy backs.
Our lifestyle makeover experts are Voice Counselor, Jim,
Walking and Running Guru, Danny, dock worker, Grunt,
Heavy Weights Lifter, Burt, and Ball Sports Guru, Mickey.
Our experts help guide a different gay guy every week. Lessons
include: how to talk deeper, how to strut like a boxer, and
how to wear brown without embarrassment. In the first episode,
37 year old Sebastian seeks help to lower his screams by up
to three octaves - how will he get on as our gurus help him
to attain his dream of shopping for fabrics without screaming
'it's to die for?'
Cross
eye for the Obese Guy
Ten
grossly overweight guys are given counseling on how to lose
weight from four men who have perfect muscled, or swimmers
physique, bodies. Bodybuilder, Kurt, fitness teacher,
Johnny, World abs crunch champion (1999-present), James,
and Jerry, a biceps counselor to the 'muscled stars',
attempt to give friendly, non-threatening, advice, to our
hopelessly overweight friends. Will the fatties lose their
blubber, and learn to love the bench press and salad vegetables?
Or will they eat pies just to spite our well-buffed experts?
Tune in each week to find out, and why not place a spread
bet on their waist sizes on our web site...
Black
eye for the Cocky Guy
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Ultimate
Fighting Makeover
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Ten
of the most annoying guys we can find are given a makeover
they will never forget. Can annoying people be made less annoying
by a thorough and professional beating? Find out when our
five counselors whip these losers into shape. Jerry Springer
is on hand throughout, as are Ultimate Fighting Champions
Mark and Fridge, along with a referee who is
hard of hearing and needs spectacles which he always accidentally
leaves in the changing room.
Custard
Pie for the Slapstick Guy
Something
for all custard-pie-in-the-face lovers. Circus clowns Coco,
Moco, Cappuccino, Latte and 'that
small 'ickle' one', are on hand to give advice to our
rookie custard pie wranglers. How should you stand to throw,
or receive, a pie in the face? Watch on interactive TV to
see the delivery from various angles. Join us at our frequent
'Discovering custard pies in the woods' days (formerly
known as Paintballing Inc) to try it out for yourself. This
is the stress reducer of the new millennium - smash a pie
in someone's face! It's fun and tastes like cream!
Interior
decorator eye for the untidy Office Guy
We've
discovered some of the most untidy office and cubical dwelling
guys in the world. Our panel of well paid Guru's are ready
to give up their secrets in a collection of delightfully helpful
sound-bites, which will be instantly available on desktop
calendar and screen saver formats. What to do with month-old
forgotten lunches left to rot under piles of unread papers?
If you can't instantly find that fish that jumped out of the
tank into your cubical, is it time to have a clean out? Find
out the answers to these questions, and more, when our group
of lifestyle, cleaning, and soft furnishings experts, help
out in an office makeover set to take the office world by
storm.
Beer
eye for the sporty guy
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Beer
and sports, a perfect combination
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Is
the sports team you live for performing to their full potential?
Would an expert makeover help? Each week, our drunk panel
of Sports Gurus attempt to agree what is going wrong with
a favorite team or sports star. Can our very drunk panel of
sports experts help out? Or will our binge drinking buddies
just make the matter ten times worse? Drink along with your
own Budweiser sponsored beer for this Tuesday night must not
miss special, then give us your thoughts on the sports radio
phone-in afterwards.
Coming
soon: Hey, girls, we haven't forgotten about you...
--- Please
tell a friend about this story
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