 |
| Mimi:
"3% GDP growth next year" | |
Alan
Greenspan is 'too old and craggly' and should be 'replaced immediately by Mimi
the dolphin from Busch Gardens, Florida' - These comments from a Presidential
report our agents exclusively intercepted, using reasonable violence. According
to the report, Mimi the dolphin has been studying economics for the last six months
by 'looking at books shoved up against her pool window'. Her remarkable accuracy
at predicting GDP forecasts has amazed economists and dolphin trainers alike.
| |
| Homer:
"Vigorous reflationary policy needed to avoid deflationary spiral" |
| Indicating
her growth estimate by ringing a bell the number of times for the percentage of
GDP growth estimated in a given year, Mimi has been entertaining the crowds and
helping economists in these uncertain economic times.
"Parts of a percent
are then indicated by the number of seconds of 'back swimming above the water'",
a trainer told us.
| |
| Mimi
- full confidence of the President | |
Mimi
has recently formed a dolphin economics think tank, the president was told in
the report - this includes two year old Homer, an expert on deflationary policy
in Western economies since the Boer War. President
George W Bush is keen to support his dolphin initiative.
| |
| Think
tank members Harold and Graham - Macro economics theory 'better than fish' |
| According
to experts, dolphins have a good media believability rating, and make people 'feel
good'. "If
we ever need to tell the population some bad news, who better than a dolphin to
deliver that news?" a member of the White House Communications Office told
us. More
dolphin facts 55%
of respondents told us that they would rather be sacked by a dolphin than a human
being. George
W Bush named the dolphin as the 'animal I would most like to be', at a children's
Christmas party at the White House, 2001. Dolphins
are friendly and lovely to swim with.
--- Please
tell a friend about this story -- | 
