The home of world comedy truth entertainment +++Some times the truth is not enough
Mimi the dolphin 'set to replace Alan Greenspan at Federal Reserve'
"He's had a good run but now its time to move on"
Mimi: "3% GDP growth next year"

Alan Greenspan is 'too old and craggly' and should be 'replaced immediately by Mimi the dolphin from Busch Gardens, Florida' - These comments from a Presidential report our agents exclusively intercepted, using reasonable violence.

According to the report, Mimi the dolphin has been studying economics for the last six months by 'looking at books shoved up against her pool window'. Her remarkable accuracy at predicting GDP forecasts has amazed economists and dolphin trainers alike.

Homer: "Vigorous reflationary policy needed to avoid deflationary spiral"

Indicating her growth estimate by ringing a bell the number of times for the percentage of GDP growth estimated in a given year, Mimi has been entertaining the crowds and helping economists in these uncertain economic times.

"Parts of a percent are then indicated by the number of seconds of 'back swimming above the water'", a trainer told us.

Mimi - full confidence of the President

Mimi has recently formed a dolphin economics think tank, the president was told in the report - this includes two year old Homer, an expert on deflationary policy in Western economies since the Boer War.

President George W Bush is keen to support his dolphin initiative.

Think tank members Harold and Graham - Macro economics theory 'better than fish'

According to experts, dolphins have a good media believability rating, and make people 'feel good'.

"If we ever need to tell the population some bad news, who better than a dolphin to deliver that news?" a member of the White House Communications Office told us.

More dolphin facts

55% of respondents told us that they would rather be sacked by a dolphin than a human being.

George W Bush named the dolphin as the 'animal I would most like to be', at a children's Christmas party at the White House, 2001.

Dolphins are friendly and lovely to swim with.

--- Please tell a friend about this story --

If you liked this story, maybe you will like these stories too...

Daytime television Rumpologist offers help in search for WMDs...

Miss World's feminist knockers fight apathy...

Latest accounts problems at Xerox sheds doubt over name pronunciation...

"Our night of passion in field caused crop circle", claim lovers...



The home of the cynic, the church for the miffed, a stable for the guilty dolphin
"The home of truth entertainment", "The truth is in here" and "Poke a Moose for Freedom"(c) TM. World rights reserved. This story July 8, 2003. This is a comedy site with 100% original material. All stories are made up.
You may like our UK/European site at
Do you have a comment? Please tell us:
Advert when only cynicism will do