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Mimi:
"3% GDP growth next year"
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Alan
Greenspan is 'too old and craggly' and should be 'replaced
immediately by Mimi the dolphin from Busch Gardens, Florida'
- These comments from a Presidential report our agents exclusively
intercepted, using reasonable violence.
According
to the report, Mimi the dolphin has been studying economics
for the last six months by 'looking at books shoved up against
her pool window'. Her remarkable accuracy at predicting GDP
forecasts has amazed economists and dolphin trainers alike.
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Homer:
"Vigorous reflationary policy needed to avoid
deflationary spiral"
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Indicating
her growth estimate by ringing a bell the number of times
for the percentage of GDP growth estimated in a given year,
Mimi has been entertaining the crowds and helping economists
in these uncertain economic times.
"Parts
of a percent are then indicated by the number of seconds
of 'back swimming above the water'", a trainer told
us.
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Mimi
- full confidence of the President
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Mimi
has recently formed a dolphin economics think tank, the president
was told in the report - this includes two year old Homer,
an expert on deflationary policy in Western economies since
the Boer War.
President
George W Bush is keen to support his dolphin initiative.
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Think
tank members Harold and Graham - Macro economics
theory 'better than fish'
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According
to experts, dolphins have a good media believability rating,
and make people 'feel good'.
"If
we ever need to tell the population some bad news, who better
than a dolphin to deliver that news?" a member of the
White House Communications Office told us.
More
dolphin facts
55%
of respondents told us that they would rather be sacked by
a dolphin than a human being.
George
W Bush named the dolphin as the 'animal I would most like
to be', at a children's Christmas party at the White House,
2001.
Dolphins
are friendly and lovely to swim with.
--- Please
tell a friend about this story
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