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Saddam look-a-like says "I will stand for President!"
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Ivor Konjilenko

Ivor Konjilenko, otherwise known as Saddam Hussein number 5, has confirmed his intention to stand for Iraq president in the country's first democratic elections, we have been informed.

Mr Konjilenko currently lives in exile in Zimbabwe, but is planning a triumphant return to the country, to be with "his people", once the US agrees his visa. This is thought to be unlikely.

Ivor is an internationally regarded pacifist, tree hugger and Rotarian, who cannot even talk about blood without feeling 'slightly iffy.'

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Mr Konjilenko originally fell out with the Saddam administration after performing in an unauthorized conjuring show at a 10 year old's birthday party.

Mr Konjilenko is a paid up member of Greenpeace, helps the homeless and enjoys whittling.

He is believed to own five Pat Boone albums.

He has pledged to 'return Iraq to normalcy as soon as possible', and act as a bridge to a new, freer, country.

His wife, who has managed to 'loot' a set of Tariq Aziz spectacles, says she will be prepared to work in a Konjilenko administration.

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