In previous months we may have given the impression that
we thought you were a "useless chimpanzee-like war
monger" who had "all of the intelligence
of a bacteria growing at the back of our fridge".
you "won" the presidency, we have made occasional
comments to the effect that you are the "master
of bewildered miscomprehension", which many
in America read as "I'm an
honest, ordinary, Joe, just like you", so
see no reason to mistrust you.
may even have made jokes, early on in your "presidency",
about how you almost choked yourself to death on a pretzel,
implying that you had problems doing two things at once
- namely watching football and chewing at the same time.
have chuckled along with other jokers who made much out
of your earlier, pre-presidential, non-stop month-long drinking
sessions which often led to incidences with fake boobs and
rolling about the floor.
more than once or twice have we changed the W in the middle
of your name to a Dubya, to laughter all round...
course, we reckoned the fact that you got the Supreme Court
to make them stop counting the votes in Florida was suspicious,
but everyone told us it was, so we just mindlessly went
along with the rest of them.
following the successful conclusion of the war in Iraq,
we are now happy to set the record straight...
now happily accept that we were wrong to make jokes about
you like this, and that you are now fully deserving of the
The greatest president of the United States in history
were wrong, sorry babe, uhm Sir, let's move on in a spirit