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(Proposed
advertising campaign - first draft - client name withheld
for market sensitive reasons)
We
are proud to be able to offer our customers the latest in
pizza delivery technology - just imagine, our delicious pizza
delivered straight to your table... but without any of the
inconvenience of having to stand up to go open the door!
The
'Just keep a window open and it's on your table©' range
of pizza 'direct to your mouth®' is set to revolutionize
pizza delivery enjoyment, using the very latest in precision
guidance systems perfected by the US military in Iraq.
So,
if you are fed up with having to get up to answer the door
when the pizza delivery guy calls (and who isn't?) phone our
precision guided pizza delivery service team, specifying exact
GPS coordinates and the size of window open, and in pops your
pizza all fresh'n'cheesy. Mmmm yummedy mmmh!
All
deliveries are subject to the following terms and conditions:
Only
available to people with a valid credit card and a current
life assurance policy.
Customers
must have a standard sized unimpeded window ("the designated
delivery window") no smaller than 24ins by 10ins.
Windows
with large trees or fencing nearby could cause problems
with delivery - if you would like to take advantage of our
tree felling option please ask our sales assistant.
Customers
with pet dogs must keep them on a lead at all times during
the delivery process. Dogs who like playing 'Frisbee' must
be hidden in an unlit room.
We
may sometimes combine two orders in one delivery if in the
same block but if we do this we will ping a 2 liter bottle
of cola with your order (do not open this for at least three
days).
All
orders are delivered at owners risk, you certify that you
have sufficient medical and buildings insurance before delivery
is attempted.
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