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This
report has been prepared under Microsoft war restrictions
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News
that the US is to send a further 120,000 troops to the Gulf
is being blamed on a defective Troops  Wizard
in Microsoft Project 95 (Military Edition), we can exclusively
reveal.
Microsoft Project 95 (Military Edition) is the software of
choice of the army currently in action in Iraq.
 Initially
the entire battle plan was for a quick 5 day conflict, but
this has since been extended by a "quick'n'easy"
mouse movement (this was a new feature introduced in '95).
As
the sales pack said: "Projects big and small can be
conveniently re-dated in Microsoft Project 95 with our world
exclusive one click and a pull all the way rightwards feature."
The
conflict has now been extended until June 1998.
A
Microsoft spokesman confirmed to us:
"A
year 2000 issue raises a fatal exception preventing a war
lasting any longer than minus four years if any of the project
dependencies are after year 2000."
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Other features -
 Microsoft
Project (Military Edition) offers commanders a number of useful
Wizards, such as the 'which Saddam is this?' wizard, the 'Weather
wizard' (with a download available for sandstorms) and 'the
Middle East is
about to erupt into anti-American hatred whaddahell are we gonna
do now?' wizard which Microsoft are continuing to develop.
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