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10 more things to hate about the French
France to get 'Most Annoying Nation' status

1) Fozzy Bear was once the only US citizen allowed into a Paris cafe as he was judged, by a panel of locals, to be the most 'culturally advanced' and 'least loud' out of the whole American nation.

2) French fries were originally invented for a king who wanted edible tooth picks.

3) French kissing was invented in the 17th century by King Baguette 9th. Originally the lavish tongue movements were designed to get the best taste out of a large snail, but it was modified later to allow two people to 'fish' for a snail in two mouths at the same time. The first official French kiss without the snail occurred in 1798.

4) We all know that the French gave the Statue of Liberty to the USA, the statue that was eventually delivered, however, was not the original one. Originally the middle finger could be seen sticking up at the end of an outstretched arm.

5) In some arrondissements in Paris, it is still illegal to be an American on Wednesday mornings before 11am.

6) All American movies shown in French theatres must be dubbed using actors on helium, apart from Woody Allen movies which are exempt.

7) The French really do stink of garlic. Not only do French people eat too much garlic in their food, they also use it as perfume, dabbing it behind their ears and under their arm pits.

8) The French have a tourist map (Le Carte Touristez Americana) which they only ever sell to American Tourists - the map is reprinted every month. In this map, landmarks are put in randomly selected places and the most popular American hotels are "hidden" under oversized bushes.

9) French bicycles stop only when you sit down hard on the seat (le bot-plonk). It is now illegal for a French bicycle trader to tell an American tourist this. The brakes on the handlebars have been disconnected during the summer months due to a by-law. (European note: Peddling backwards only makes the brakes work in Amsterdam and some of the Greek islands.)

10) All French made autos have a GPS chip in them which allows control of the vehicle to be taken over by a French control room whenever least convenient, or when eating fast food.

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