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Ozzy Osbourne is preferred replacement for Saddam Hussein, says War Hawk
Prince of Darkness to replace Emperor of Evil, says copywriter
Iraq: Ozzy Osbourne is the preferred allied replacement in the war against Saddam Hussein, we can reveal, exclusively, today.

The former Black Sabbath lead singer, and current reality TV show star, Ozzy, has been told to prepare immediately for war. He has been given a fully stocked mini-bar in his room on a warship set to leave in the next month.

War Hawks are said to want to replace Hussein with a president who has a 'fully developed sense of the darkside'.

President of Darkness

A spokesman told us: "While Ozzy is waiting on board, he will be encouraged to entertain the troops with concerts and inspirational "go get em" type speeches".

Botty

Ozzy Osbourne has been known to shock middle America by showing off his botty in front of paying audiences. An army marketing guru told us: "This will be a major selling point for President Osbourne in Iraq following the end of the conflict."

Baghdad 90210

The Entertainment Agency currently working for Saddam Hussein is working on a image rebrand in what could become a nasty media war. Hussein is already appearing nation-wide in an Iraqi version of a hit 1990's US teen soap.

The use of entertainers as puppet type stand ins following war, is a long held military strategy of the USA and its allies.

Mr R McDonald declined the appointment.

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