| Iraq:
Ozzy Osbourne is the preferred allied replacement in the war against Saddam Hussein,
we can reveal, exclusively, today. The
former Black Sabbath lead singer, and current reality TV show star, Ozzy, has
been told to prepare immediately for war. He has been given a fully stocked mini-bar
in his room on a warship set to leave in the next month. War
Hawks are said to want to replace Hussein with a president who has a 'fully developed
sense of the darkside'.
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| President
of Darkness | A
spokesman told us: "While Ozzy is waiting on board, he will be encouraged
to entertain the troops with concerts and inspirational "go get em"
type speeches". Ozzy
Osbourne has been known to shock middle America by showing off his botty in front
of paying audiences. An army marketing guru told us: "This will be a major
selling point for President Osbourne in Iraq following the end of the conflict."
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|
Baghdad 90210 | The
Entertainment Agency currently working for Saddam Hussein is working on a image
rebrand in what could become a nasty media war. Hussein is already appearing nation-wide
in an Iraqi version of a hit 1990's US teen soap. The
use of entertainers as puppet type stand ins following war, is a long held military
strategy of the USA and its allies. Mr
R McDonald declined the appointment.
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