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How
did Saddam Hussein manage to evade capture for 8 whole
months?
Here
is a selectively edited transcript of tonight's program...
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"When
Saddam Hussein was eventually captured from down the spider-hole,
the world got to see, quite literally, the fillings in his
teeth. But, what led up to this moment of complete, open-mouthed,
dental humiliation?"
"Tonight,
for the first time ever, we discover what other humiliations
Saddam suffered while he was still the world's Number One:
Most terrifying dictator on the run..."
End
of Part One
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Claim:
"Saddam lived for 5 weeks in this rolled
up carpet"
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"Saddam
spent a total of 3 months lying in a hole underground. Here
he would sleep, eat Mars bars, and look, shiftily, from side-to-side."
"When
Saddam wasn't lying down a spider-hole, in an ordinary hole
or shallow trench, the terrifying dictator would be found
hiding in other uncomfortable places, such as in wicker laundry
baskets, and in this roll of carpet, seen here for the very
first time in the West."
End
of Part Two
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Low
level Saddam Skeedaddle!
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"Wicker
laundry baskets gave Saddam everyday, immediate, Scooby Doo
levels of cover."
"The
dictator would never go anywhere without a wicker basket,
into which he would jump during low levels of danger."
"Here,
Saddam would sustain himself by nibbling away at Mars bars,
drink warm Snapple, but most of the time he just sat listening,
with his eyes looking from side-to-side."
End
of Part Three
"But
when his eye's weren't shifting side-to-side, Saddam would
prepare his radio address to the nation, which on one occasion
he recorded from inside a wicker basket."
"What
of the future? Saddam is now one of the world's most accomplished
potholers. An agent told us the offers could be lucrative."
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