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Icon Death Anniversary 'Conjunction' Could Lead To Worldwide Wetness

Elvis Presley 25 years, Marilyn Monroe 40 years, Princess Diana 5 years, August 2002

Make sure to stock up on tissue before the crying starts for real this Friday, the King's 25th anniversary of his last rock n'roll breath on earth.

This dramatically coincides with Marilyn Monroe's last breath 40 years ago this month, and Princess Diana's last breath August, 5 years ago.

Thankfully, this coincidence has not gone unnoticed by people publishing magazines, television channels and documentary makers.

But did these icons intend to die this time of year, or was it all just a huge mistake?

An Expert: "These pop icons just had a great sense of publicity."

"Dying like they did, in the low quality news-silly season, was such a good move, ensuring future years of mourning in the sun. Had they died in February, would we really want to sob the same way, outside, in short sleeved shirts?"

A mourner told us: "I have a whole garage full of tissue paper and I am intending to start my own crying ritual at 6am on the 16th and don't intend stopping for a whole week. I have towels and small furry animals if I run out of tissue."

This, from a woman who unsuccessfully changed her name to Marilyn Monroe in 1978 but, due to a drug problem, wrote the name Mary Moo.

We asked Mary Moo how upset she will be this month:

"I will feel like a woman without her man in the middle of a country and western concert."

"Don't get me started, I want to save my bawling for the King on Friday."

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