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"I Was Elvis's Cheeseburger Filler" Claims Man Mourning 25 Years Unemployment

"Friday will see my Elvis cheese go on the market"

Reg 'the man' Mooser is believed to be absolutely the last secret member of the Elvis entourage who has yet to sell his story to the media.

Reg specialised in filling the King's burgers, but claims he hasn't worked since the King's sudden death, at age 42 in 1977.

He is choosing the 25th anniversary of the King's death to promote a new cheese designed for Elvis fans.

"I am real upset as anyone that his anniversary is this Friday, though, once the sobbing dies down, I feel confident my new Elvis cheese, designed for cheeseburgers and sandwiches, will be a real great success. It is available in either lump or squirty versions."

The cheese will be introduced at one of a small chain of 'Elvis says Aloha from Hawaii' sandwich bars in Crawley, England.

Its owner is a retired Elvis impersonator, who says he can now only do Perry Como in an Elvis wig, claiming his "hips don't swivel like they used to".

Cheese has never featured highly in lists of the King's memorabilia but this could be about to change:

"Over in England, they have a history of smelly cheese but this Elvis cheese is not like that at all. No sir. It is soft and colored yellow, ideal for sandwiches and parties for the under 7's."

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