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Bull
market
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All
shares go up most of the time - this is the market where
your friends and neighbours who have money in the market
talk loudly about how much they made from their portfolios
last month, but they don't tell you if they sell in
time to make any actual money. Most common over the
last twenty years. Pray that God is a bull.
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Bear
market
|
Has
been on rampage over last year. Could get worse or die
of a heart attack all of a sudden to be replaced by
other creature, not necessarily a bull again.
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A
timid market, investors more interested in wife swapping
parties and nibbling at small snacks. Popular in the
1960's, and in other periods in history when long hair
was in fashion.
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Beaver
market
|
A
joke animal invented simply to cause sniggering. The
market goes under water and over water on a regular
basis until investors become unconscious and look elsewhere
to put their money.
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Parrot
market
|
Everyone
becomes a stock market commentator, repeating what everyone
else is saying. Was prevalent during the dot com boom,
in which the parrot stood on the bulls shoulder. Warning:
Parrots never sit on the shoulders of bears.
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Canary
market
|
An
ineffectual market with nice tunes. Good for taking
down mines - they die quickly if there is poisonous
gases. If the canary market dies all of a sudden run
for the hills.
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Dog
market
|
A
dog market is one in which stocks chase each others
tails in a circular motion.
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Cat
market
|
A
cat market is similar to a dog market except there is
a ball of wool and better gymnastics.
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