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Winter Olympics open with traditional snow-pee contest

World exclusive secrets revealed of snow-pee athletes

Contestants from around the world took part in a secret, unofficial, Olympic sport, in which athletes drink too much alcohol before using their fresh urine to draw the Olympic symbol in the snow, earlier this week.

Highly trained athletes from 28 countries took part, in spite of extreme security. The event was secretly planned to coincide with the official opening ceremony.

Security officers feared horrible Taliban type disruption to the snow-pee event in which a representative of each country drinks the equivalent of ten pints of beer before drawing the five Olympic rings using fresh urine untouched by human hand.

Women were allowed to take part this year for the first time. However, following the event, many women said they may withdraw their candidature next time. This is due, in part, to an administrative error which caused considerable embarrassment and unforeseen fancy footwork in the snow.

Originally, women had been told that they could use a funnel, but this was denied at the very last minute with no reason being given other than shrugged shoulders.

"I had been training using a funnel and when I got to the event they changed the rules. It made me so angry I couldn't piss straight," said CEO of LadyHealth

Some women had turned up with complex cake-icing type devices which clearly gave them an advantage over the men.

Medical attention
Every year, 20% of men need medical attention after taking part in the snow-pee contest due to the combined effects of the cold and splash back.

This year's contest was won by Russia, the traditional champions, having won it 7 out of 8 times before.

Russian Vodka in the urine gives the drawn circles a greater depth, and can be illuminated by means of striking a match.

Urine drawings composed of beer-urine are not flammable and therefore tend to disappear quickly if it is snowing.

The event has never been televised because of concerns over how it could affect toilet training for the under five's.

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