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New Pyramid Selling Scheme Targets Nuns

2001 Classic

A movement called Empowering Modern Nuns to Understand Financial Markets (EMNUF) spent the day sticking stamps on envelopes to its members recommending a new pyramid selling scheme involving Nunwear.

Each Nun invited to join the scheme sends one item of fashion Nun attire to seven friends, who in turn find another seven friends to create the pyramid.

Nuns in Eastern Europe have been seen in used clothes sales, collecting together enough clothing to take part in the scheme.

One sister, who has asked to remain anonymous, has locked her naked self in her room while she sends out her clothes in the expectation of a whole wardrobe of Nunwear back.

"This shows the full extent of the mentality of people involved in such schemes. Sister X could very well never wear any clothes again if the pyramid breaks before she gets clothes back from her selected 7 new members," said Albania's Finance Minister. "Alternatively, she could be a Nunwear millionaire by December - so let's party!"

"Nuns high on the pyramid have made clothing fortunes from the scheme, it is only those Nuns lower in the pyramid who could lose everything," said a CNN belly dancer.

Some of the more successful Nuns have been wearing three or four layers of clothing in some countries as they have received back more clothes than they are ever likely to wear in their mundane lives. "It's like hitting a fetish clothing jackpot," said a man wearing shiny leather trousers.

Nun riots were a major feature of the Albania crisis in the 1990's which threatened to topple a government following a series of pyramid schemes going pop.

"Pyramid selling schemes are a guaranteed way of making money if everyone in the scheme pays up. People always find a way of mucking it up however so fortunes for everyone is not possible", said TV's Mr Blooper narratively.

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